Friends

It's a funny thing about friends. You don't realize how hard it is to make new ones until you are forced to do so.

I was really fortunate in Arkansas to have many excellent friends. Many were Razorback buddies, some were friends I'd known for years. Some have gone by the wayside; others are "keepers" that I believe I'll have, in one way or the other, for life.

I have begun to realize that I'm going to have to get out and make new friends.

Nathan is a wonderful young man, and an excellent friend and roommate, but he's 25 and full of life and is out making new friends and forging a new life for himself. I'm really proud to have been able to watch his growth and development into the fine young man he now is; I'm really pleased he's shared this part of his life with me. I'm enjoying the hell out of having him as a roommate (he keeps me young), but one of these days he's going to find some sweet young thing and off he will be on a new life adventure (this is the way of things, and is as it should be).

My friends are scattered to the four winds. Robert's in Dallas, Keith's in Dallas, Gage is in Austin, Marty's in Oklahoma, Jeff's in Little Rock, Steve's in Little Rock, John's in San Diego, Craig's in San Francisco, Patti Tang's in NYC, Kathy and Larry are in Birmingham. My sister's in Boerne.

Of course, I have Jimmy and Nancy here; they have a baby who is sweet and wonderful, but takes all their available spare time. I am remiss, though, in not making more of an effort to go meet them for dinner, at least.

For years, I relied upon my parents as friends, too. Living next door to them in Malvern, it was fun to have them as adult friends, and we did things like the boat and the Florida trips (and some Razorbacking) together. Now Mother's in the nursing home and my 85 year old Dad is caring for her.

So, at 51, I'm going to strike out in some new directions. I'll always have my old friends, and will always love them. I'll be glad every time I see their names on caller ID, and I'll call them too. It's just that sometimes, I'd like to have somebody with whom to go to a movie, have a beer or three, or just plain hang out. Lucy and Ethel are sweet doggies but the lack of opposable thumbs makes it difficult for them to hold a beer.

I do have one set of friends here; one of my friends from Minneapolis lives here, married a Texan, and is comfortably settled in the Houston Heights, so there's a start.

I've been a parishioner at Palmer Memorial Episcopal Church for a year, but have only made one or two acquaintances because I'm gone all the time on weekends. I'm going to re-arrange around that so I can try to go.

It's hard at 51; everybody's already got their lives going and everybody's already got their circle of friends.

But, as that old Joe Cocker song (which I hated at the time) goes, in part:

Who knows what tomorrow brings
In a world few hearts survive?
All I know is the way I feel.
When it's real, I keep it alive.
The road is long, there are mountains in our way,
But we climb a step every day.

Some hang on to "used to be,"
Live their lives looking behind.
All we have is here and now,
All our life, out there to find.
The road is long, there are mountains in our way,
But we climb a step every day