Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Cupcakes, Kenya, Hearing Aids and B. B. King

My old friend David Green of Corpus Christi, Texas has always been a scream. He is possessed of the infamous "dry wit" so prized and so RARE in comedy these days. David is one of those people who, when confronted with visible evidence that the sky is, in fact, falling, would look calmly up at the falling pieces and say, "Huh, now how about that?"

David (like many of us Boomers) has recently discovered facebook, and he loves it. He updates his status frequently, and some of his are hilarious. I quote from this morning:

David Green Is upset that the dog ate the cupcakes he made at midnight to replace the cupcakes Sarah made that Kenya ate when she went to bed. That bast--- Kenya! Lesson: never let your guard down!

(David is also crazy about animals; Kenya is his black lab and David would take a bullet himself to save that dog...). (Sarah is his daughter; she's beautiful like her mother).

I pretty much died laughing when I read David's post; I can just hear him saying it out loud. For David, that was a temper tantrum, an outburst of the most violent kind.


Night before last my Dad was sitting out on the patio, taking the evening air with my niece's dog (named B. B. King), which he is dogsitting. Cell phone rang, Dad had to take his brand-new hearing aid out to answer it (too much feedback otherwise). He set the hearing aid on the table and talked on the phone.

As he was talking, he saw movement out of the corner of his eye and turned to look---just as the long, long tongue of B. B. King snaked out and lapped up the $1,500 hearing aid!

Dad (the last thing my aunt heard him say was, "DAMMIT, B.B.!!!") threw the $200 cell phone down and wrenched the jaws of the offender open. He managed to salvage the hearing aid (sans battery, which will not be seen again--he's not digging through poop a la Marley & Me), with a few teeth marks. The last time I talked to him (yesterday), he was on his way to the hearing aid place to see what the damage was.

I love dogs.


I put a mini-version of this on David's facebook page. He laughed and said, "From now on, that's my new phrase when something goes wrong: It's only cupcakes!"


  1. Ouch. $1,500.00. That hurts. My mother called me this morning to tell me that when she returned to Camden from visiting nephews and families in NWA she found her basement flooded. She said she guessed her sump pump had quit working.

    I asked her if the power had been out while she was gone. She said, "Well, Aunt Mary said it went out about late Saturday afternoon and was out until some time Sunday morning."

    I said, "Well, there's your problem. You need to get a battery back up system."

  2. My alarm clock (like its owner) is elderly and past its prime. Both yesterday and today, it failed to go off and I overslept (I have important responsibilities in the morning: I let the dogs out, make the coffee, and clean the kitchen; Nathan cooks.).

    Damn alarm clock! Now I have to get a new one!

    Oh...wait...I got to sleep later on Sunday, but was afraid of oversleeping, so set the alarm at 8. So naturally yesterday and today, it didn't go off at 6; it was SET to go off at 8.

    Never mind.