Friday, October 31, 2008

Weird? Strange? Funny? ME? Surely not....

Kathy says, " Okay, I've now tagged you to post 7 strange, weird or funny things about yourself. Have at it."

Weird? Strange? Funny? ME? Surely not....

1. When I go to buy a book, a newspaper, a magazine, or anything else like that (for that matter, a carton of cream at the store), I will NEVER take the top one. I'll dig down in the stack to find the perfect one. If it's a book or a newspaper or a magazine, it needs to be PRISTINE---no curled edges or dog-eared corners or messed-up pages. PRISTINE. Obviously, this does not apply to used books, which I just love and have no issue with any of the above if present in a used book. Correspondingly, if I get a magazine or newspaper at home, it makes me mad as hell if anybody touches it before I get it (but I'll be glad to pick up somebody ELSE'S *USED* one and thumb through it, doesn't bother me at all.)

I won't buy the dairy product in the front of the case, I dig back further in for a "really cold" one. This tends to annoy the dairy manager at the local H-E-B.

2. I can't stand for the sheets to be tucked in. Cannot stand it. The very first thing I do upon arrival at a hotel (well, second thing, see #3 below) is pull all the sheets out loose. I never tuck the sheets in on the unusual occasion of making my bed at home, either.

3. I'm allergic to feathers (well, I'm allergic to many things). All the hotels have gone to "luxurious" feather pillows, and I can't sleep with them in the room. I have to call a porter to have them taken out. I carry my own foam pillow in my suitcase with my CPAP wrapped in it. (Yes, I've tried calling in advance to have the feathers removed, but that's never worked yet.). Oh, and some "high end" hotels think goose-down duvets are the ticket. Not for me.

4. I love "I Love Lucy". It's still one of my favourite shows. I've seen them all at least 1,000,000 times (and counting). My TiVo is set to record it. I can tune in any time and still just guffaw. I watched one last night; they were leaving Hollywood, Ricky sold the car, and forgot to buy the Mertz's train tickets home. Fred Mertz bought a motorcycle with a sidecar and they were preparing to drive off on it (in full leather and goggles) when Fred got it into reverse and backed up into a wall. Hirarious.

My two dogs are "Lucy and Ethel". Go figure.

5. I was supposed to be born on February 1. I was born February 11 and have been late ever since. There is no reason. Contrary to all the psych textbooks, it's not an attempt to assert dominance. I'm just lazy and push my time limits right up TO the limit. I'm supposed to be at work at 8:00, so I head for the shower at 7:30, roll in around 8:20. Everybody tells me I'll be late to my own funeral.

I certainly hope so.

6. (i think this is a "getting old" thing, but nevertheless...) I have my little routine in the mornings and I do not like it varied AT ALL. Not even a little. It needs to be the SAME.

Alarm at 6:00. I get up, go to bathroom, head to kitchen. "Hello, dogs, hello, dogs" (they are always glad to see me), "do y'all want to go out?" (they always do). Let them out.

Make coffee (this MUST be EXACT). Coffee brand: Community (Red Label, Dark Roast, Whole Bean). Grind Coffee. While coffee is grinding, pour in water from Brita pitcher (not the damn tap! Ewww!). Put in filter, coffee, push "brew".

Head for sink. I do not like to do dishes after eating at night, so they're in there in the morning. I don't mind doing them in the A.M. so do that, cleaning up kitchen generally.

Head for dog food. Dish out dog food. Let dogs back in. "Hello, dogs, hello, dogs, are you hungry?" (they always are).

Dogs must be fed in this wise: CoCo has to go back in his "house" because he grouches everybody else. Ethel will lie down to eat hers, with one leg on each side of the bowl. Maggie will only eat if Lucy is in my lap, so she has to wait till I get situated.

Go back to back part of house, knock on Nathan's door, get a growled/moaned/face in pillow "I'm up, I'm up!" (he's not).

Back to kitchen, pour cup of coffee (5 splenda's, heavy cream, coffee), head for den/recliner. Hit recliner, invite Lucy into lap (so Maggie can eat), turn on "Morning Joe" on MSNBC.

(around this time, Nathan staggers in semi-consciously, pours his own, and plops down in the other recliner).

Once Ethel and Maggie are done, put Lucy down and let her eat. Then let CoCo out and let him eat. Mayhem ensues when CoCo and Lucy try to kill each other.

Nathan kindly fixes breakfast. I eat. Let ALL dogs out again (to run and bark) and head for bathroom to get ready (it's now 7:30 and I'm late again).

When on the road, I replicate this as closely as possible, right down to taking my own coffee and coffee maker if I'm in the car.

7. I make a mean bloody mary, but these days I tend toward plain old Dewars and water.

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