What Border Collies Seldom Understand…

…is that the mere fact that the refrigerator door is opened is not necessarily an indicator that treats for them are forthcoming....

…is that a queen-sized bed will only hold so many large creatures…

…is that armrests on chairs are for resting arms upon; when an arm is thusly placed, it is not necessarily there because it needs a border collie nose on it…

…is that leather recliners are for people, not border collies…

…is that the dogs in the next yard will be there tomorrow, too…

…is that vacuum cleaners, in and of themselves, are not fatal to border collies…

…is that a 60 pound border collie, when applied suddenly, unexpectedly, and exuberantly to the midsection of a middle-aged man snoozing in a recliner can cause spillage of drink, breakage of computer and a sudden change from baritone to soprano…

…is that yelling because your team scored a touchdown is not the same as yelling because your border collie pottied on the carpet…

…is that loud, raucous, welcoming barking, tail-wagging, and running around upon the entry of “Dad” never fails to bring a smile to Dad’s face, no matter how tough his day has been.